A Heart That Cried
by Dekiru-chan
Summary: Heero examines his heart of a cold-blooded murderer..... and... You'll hate me. ^.~


__

My life... Am I some heartless killer? Some cold blooded murderer? After I last saw her, merely hiding from her gaze, some weight pulled at my chest. 

Yet I turned my face away from this burden. Then I stepped out into the cold night, not bothering to pull the collar of my coat around my neck. Cold was no matter to me, for I had no warmth to be chilled. In silence, I walked alone, apathetic to the dark. A dead foreboding dark. A person of my age would have been filled with apprehension, wary of the leaping shadows that swayed in the wind. Yet I merely walked. One silent step after another.

I had not bothered to look above me to stare at the streak of light. I knew it was there... but... who was here? I stopped and leaned on a gray bench in the glare of the lone streetlight. I held my hand up to my eyes and turned it slowly to examine every inch. This hand... this skin.. it was flawless. Ne... I was the 'Perfect Soldier'. I had a heart of stone. Skills that exceeded all mortals. Reflexes that put the fastest of animals to shame.... I was a feral animal myself. Yet what made me so different from everyone was..... My mind? What of my mind? Its level of sophistication is too deep to comprehend, my motives are burned into it. Soul? I have no soul... I've lost that long ago. Then.... my heart? I gently touched the place where it was to be. What is this?

__

I remember. A slender boy, laughing uproariously as he flippantly tossed back a silken braid the hue of bronze. He slapped me upon the back, tears of mirth streaming from his eyes. I glared at him at the contact, yet I continued to patiently ignore his howls. 

Suddenly he stopped and stared at me. He blinked. I disregarded him and resumed my concentration. He placed a hand upon my shoulder... gently. I slowly turned my head towards him, expecting the customary large grin. Instead... he solemnly shook his head and his deep indigo eyes never broke his embrace from mine. 

It still rings in my ears. What he said. Is it true? Is it still true? 

Fighting keeps me occupied, yet now....?

I used to relish the destruction, do I still? 

Has it changed? 

Am I still the stoic, cold-blooded assasin?

Do I want to change?

I deliberately stared into the brilliance of the street lamp that hovered above me. I blinked quickly and swiftly gazed at my hand. Lights flashed and danced. Tainting my hand with a crimson light. Blood. Seeping from the wounds that gushed it, dripping like tears onto my hand. I absorbed it, putting it into my heart. Carrying the guilt like a burden that cannot be dropped or cut away. 

I blinked again and shook my head. I resumed my path down the road... meandering to no specific place. I want to change.... yet... this severe heart won't allow me. 

Death is a great companion

When you befriend it.... it whispers

Telling you of what you should do...

I swear... I want to change...

Change this stone to flesh

To one that cries

Become mortal again.

Become imperfect

Actually live a life. 

I squeezed my eyes shut, my mind, heart, and soul... were they lost forever? I saw so many lives... snuffed out like a candle in a breeze. I wanted to change. Change the only this I had left to something I could love with. Something I could live with. 

Then... they sprang to my eyes. I knew what they were... but they always were forced into the black pits of my emotions, but they welled up and they flowed. My face streamed with tears as a small smile flitted across my face.

I wanted to change my heart. Ever since what Death said to me... 

__

' I know I have one... as does Quatre, Wufei... even Trowa... Do you have one, Heero? Do you have... a heart that cries?"

And... I do.

~Owari~

~ ~ ~ * * ^^ * * ~ ~ ~

Dekiru-chan: No one likes these kinds of fictions! As Mokona says it 'Puu' on all of you people who dislike dismal, catharsis, drivel-filled fictions about a character... Fine! Here... you want a bizarre twist? Something that will jerk your hearts! YAH! I'm going to get some reviews now!

For you people:

_' I know I have one... as does Quatre, Wufei... even Trowa... Do you have one, Heero? Do you have... a heart that cries?"_

And... I do. The smile grew slightly bigger as I gazed once more at the sky. I closed my eyes and inhaled the intoxicating scent of pure, untainted bliss entwined with the freshness of the crushed pine needles. My senses were numb as my soul soared back into my body and I embraced it. All three were connected. Mind, soul,... and heart.

I smiled, soon to a common occasion. Suddenly... a horn blared. My eyes wide with confusion I whirled around and stared into the blinding lights of an immense truck that skid uncontrollably towards me. Drunk driver... I closed my eyes and remembered:

Death is a great companion

When you befriend it.... it whispers

Telling you of what you should do...

I swear... I want to change...

Change this stone to flesh

To one that cries

Become mortal again.

Become imperfect

Actually live a life. 

I did live a life, yet it only lasted for 4 minutes and my heart that cried... cried once more and became silent... once again.

~Owari~

De-chan's note: Better.... did you like the pathetically inane ending? Sorry.... 


End file.
